Melt down took place this weekend! Gosh can I just tell you how much I dislike all this hormone fluctuation! I WANT TO feel NORMAL again!!!
There are certain people that push my buttons and they were all under the same roof on Sunday!! Usually I get annoyed but this time I got angry and became a crying baby at the same time, on the day we're supposed to celebrate mothers!
I hate showing my emotions and I had no control over my tears when things were not going my way! I had an emotional breakdown! Started crying hysterically when my mom and mom-inlaw would not let me make my famous mashed potatoes. Yes, I consider my potatoes the best and they just didn't like my process. I huffed and puffed and threw threats at them saying "I'm going to make my own batch better than yours!" So silly now that I write it but this little incident got me to the break down where I just started crying and this overwhelming feeling of neglect settled in. THIS IS SOOO NOT ME!!! I don't cry when someone doesn't my way, I may get irritated but CRYING??? C'mon!!!
I was crying so hard and I don't think it was over potatoes but the fact that I just didn't want to be pregnant anymore. I was HUGE, I was HORMONAL, I had a hard time WALKING!!! I just wanted to feel normal and I wanted to feel LOVED!
Mom and Mom- inlaw saw me crying in the backyard and started hugging me which kind of felt weird because I'm not used to getting hugs from them and I hate showing my weakness to them. The worst part was my breakdown started a series of Braxton Hicks which didn't end until the middle of the night! Don't worry I was getting about 2-3 an hour. I definitely felt better today but I am soo tired from lack of sleep!
I am definitely better now. I just feel silly and kind of disappointed in me for crying like a baby!! But I guess crying never hurt anyone right? This pregnancy is making me into a pile of mush!!My
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