During my first pregnancy I did not care about how I looked or how I felt. I was tucked away up north and could hide beneath layers of clothing. The environment was very dark and all our friends would always stay in during those cold, long winter months. I gained soo much weight and my body never looked the same after. After moving back home to a warmer climate I've worked hard to get myself on track. With baby number 2 on the way I am truly fighting to stay in shape. I'm a tad bit older and understand that with age things don't bounce back as they used to. Pregnancy can really take a toll on you in many ways. Although I brought my body back to where it was after my first pregnancy I never wanted to weight that much again. The feeling is absolutely disgusting to say the least. I go to the gym almost every day to keep myself in shape but it really makes me sad seeing the numbers on the scale creep higher and higher. I used to work this hard to be a petite little thing and now all my efforts seem to be working against me. Everywhere I read, I'm reminded that exercise is really good for the mother and child and makes labor a lot more manageable. I hope all these things are true and the good thing is my body craves working out so the moment i have this little peanut I can continue with my workouts and hopefully gain my body back sooner than later!
I keep reminding myself how wonderful it is to fit into cute summery dresses and how wonderful it is to be light on my feet to keep me motivated. I love my bikini in the summer so the less weight I gain the fewer stretch marks my skin will have and the faster I start losing this extra weight.
Every time we go out in a group of people for some reason I feel judged being so much bigger. I start to wonder what people are thinking about me. Can they tell I'm pregnant?? Why can't I just own this bigger rounder body?? My mind starts pouring out all these crazy thoughts. I can't imagine being heavy all the time, i would probably be soo depressed.
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