Separation Anxiety Part 1

Not to long ago my hubby and I started looking at starting our own business and with that came a lot of time into research and consultations with professionals. I absolutely love anything to do with business. But as we submerged our selves into growing a business our relationship with our daughter started to fall apart.

I used to devote hours to doing projects, reading, going places and cooking together with my little love bug but as that attention started to fade she started to act out. Everyone talked about children going through terrible 2s but I was certain it started at 3. My daughter would misbehave to the point that I would watch myself become more and more impatient with her and therefore was creating this toxic relationship I vowed I'd never have with my daughter. My husband would let her watch cartoons to help with this bad behavior but for me, numbing your brain with a moving image is reversing all the teaching and time that I've invested into my daughter.

I strongly believe that television, video games, and computer games are the worst thing you can do for your child! So, as we started focusing more and more on business I started giving a huge deal of thought into putting my baby into school. Many who know me know how much I've wanted to home school her but with a second baby on the way it started to make more sense to start researching all our options.

After interviewing 4 preschools, I've noticed how excited my little darling was in that environment. As a mother I felt proud that she would do great  and decided to enroll her in a Christian school.

The first day of school was the hardest on me. My darling was so excited. We packed the lunch bag together with all her favorite snacks( strawberries, cucumbers, peppers and tomatoes) As we started driving my mind was searching for reasons to turn around, to go home but despite my internal protests I knew I would follow through with this task.

We walked to her classroom and she was soo happy to be there, she didn't look back to see if I was still there, she was right at home. It broke my heart seeing her fully occupied and not looking back to see if I was still there. 

As I went on with my daily routine the pain became unbearable. Tears just started pouring out of me with no end in sight. I arrived at the gym and somehow managed to pull myself together. Memories flooded my mind of how we would do everything together and all of the sudden I was alone, learning to walk on my own again.